Friendship – Expectations and Relationships

Over recent years I’ve thought a lot about expectations in relationships (I mean both romantic and platonic types of relationships). Whether we like it or not, and admit them or not, we have expectations of others. Low, high, river-wide, valley-low. This may come from our personality types, family background, cultural upbringing, previous friendships, even movies we’ve watched, what our teachers told us, etc.

The tricky part is that you can’t get rid of your (sometimes unconscious) expectations, nor are they bad. They just are. Sure you can lower them, or anticipate that they will be unmet, but there will come a time that something will come up in a relationship because of them. And it is often painful.

I find that conflict or disappointment in relationships often is a result of differing expectations or assumptions that you each are thinking the same thing. Or at least similar. And it is hard to get your head around why the other party doesn’t automatically see it like you do!

Anyway. I know I’m just scratching the surface on this topic… Here are a few links on what I’m talking about if you are interested.

Unrealistic and Unspoken Expectations Harm Relationships

http://www.rechargerelationships.com/Expectations_Chapter.pdf

What Are Your Friendship Expectations?

http://friendship.about.com/od/Toxic_Friends/tp/What-Are-Your-Friendship-Expectations.htm

Friendship Among Women

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001554.cfm

Sarah – Fit 4 Life Staff